Monday, January 24

Kematian yang menghidupkan





Mak insan terpilih. Sepanjang hayat dia, banyak sangat ujian yang dia lalui — that i know of growing up but lets just keep those things private. 


Allah sangat sayangkan mak. 


After her last chemo, we thought that her suffering would finally come to an end. I still remember that day, after her appointment, she video called us and told us the news. That she might have two more years to live. Her tears went down rolling but the way she said it, mak nampak redha but deep down God knows how she felt. After she broke the news, my sisters and i rushed ourselves to go back to Melaka. I remember her face, she just stopped smiling. Buat lawak pun she couldnt laugh. Sepanjang hayat, mak orang yang paling banyak senyum & ketawa. She's a very cheerful person, suka buat kelakar & she also suka randomly bertegur sapa dengan orang yang dia tak kenal. 


Since that day, her family and friends tak pernah berhenti datang melawat dia. Dari Melaka ke Muar, ke Johor Bahru, seterusnya ke IKN Putrajaya tak berhenti orang datang melawat sampaikan security pun ada yang kata "ramai betul waris norhapizah yang datang nak jumpa".


One of her last wishes was to go 'home' and be burried near her parents grave. 


Bila mak discharged from IKN she stayed at my sister's house in Muar. We all did — we stayed by her side, we took care of her until her last breath, we were all there with her, whispering shahada & telling her that "kita semua redha". I witnessed so many miracles and how rezeki & pertolongan Allah datang dalam pelbagai bentuk untuk memudahkan mak & meringankan sakit dia. Ada orang wakafkan katil hospital, tank oxygen, ada yang hadiahkan sofa bed, kerusi roda size besar khas untuk mak (she had lymphedema) semua benda ni  bagi mak kesenangan & keselesaan. Allah betul betul sayangkan mak & moga Allah balas kebaikan pada yang memberi.


There were moments when mak said words like "transit" "flight" "passport" when she was on morphine as if she's about to travel somewhere beautiful because that's what she used to like. Travelling. 


And as i were told, dying of cancer makes you a martyr. A syahid. My mum is a fighter, she didnt lose the battle, she fought like a champion and she's now in a better, beautiful and serene place where there is no more pain nor suffering. I miss her terribly. Not a day goes by that i dont miss her or think of her. 


Losing her taught me so much about kindness. About humility and how life in this dunya is so temporary. And that a good life after death, our akhira should be our utmost goal, chasing dunya can be tiresome dont you think? Because thats what dunya is, persinggahan sementara bukan kekal abadi. And life here will always be challenges, tears and suffering. Kalau kita redha, Allah angkat darjat kita. Semoga mak senang & bahagia di alam sana. 



Wednesday, May 30

Growing in love


I don't like the idea of, "falling in love."

I prefer to look at love as a commitment, an everyday decision. And that takes effort, time, patience, humility, and trust. It's not about falling, it's about growing— Growing in love. Now that's better. 

I really believe that the reason why a lot of people, "fall out of love," is because they just fell in it to begin with. If your concept of love is based entirely on feelings, then you are bound to fall over and over and over, and it's just gonna hurt each and every time. The thing about growth is that it doesn't happen overnight. It has to be cultivated, taken care of, given time, even pruned. But when it does happen, it certainly lasts. This is why as cliché as it seems, I still believe in the foundation called friendship.



@rizmonreyes

Monday, May 28

Shout into the void

I still remember how we first met. How we fell in love. How we're so in love and still do. My heart has never stopped beating for you, the heart that was given by The All Loving. I know sometimes i can be cold and i always give you a hard time, but you are so patient with me. You always tolerate my mood swings, my madness and my crybaby mode. We've been married for 1 year and a half, yet you never change. You're the same guy i knew back then.


You're still the same guy i fell in love with. The same nice guy who has soft spots for animals and who loves his mother the most. You're still the same guy who annoy me with lame jokes, difference is now i can pinch you lol. You're the same guy who isnt shy to feed me food in public. The same guy who always support what ever you think could make me the happiest.


You always want the best for me and the littlest thing you do warmth my heart. Most of all you never fail to make me laugh. Even when i'm so mad at you. You always know how to make me feel happy again. Marrying you has always been the right decision. Living with you, loving you. Is like a dream come true.


Yours truly,
Wife 💌

Sunday, May 27

In my arms, let's share the cold

Our love, our feelings flactuate

 In anger, provocation & angst, our love decreases. But with forgiveness, letting our ego down, it increases. Love is tolerance. Is trust. Is never pushing each other down and make the other feel unworthy. 

 Love is sacrifice. Love is driving each other crazy & being there for one another. In marriage, you will find yourself in your spouse. The one you chose to spend the rest of your existence with. You will do what ever it takes to fight, to make each other happy & to never give up.

Love means having & growing children together with patience and kindness To fall in love is easy, but to stay in love is hard. Allah, please bless the marriage of Faisal Hadi & Siti Nur Adawiyah. Let nothing comes between us accept death. And let us meet again in Jannah, where we both can finally rest, hug one another & build our home in the hereafter.

"If we never found this love If we never took that road If we hadn't had the heart We wouldn't have this home. Love will take you"

Wednesday, May 23

First post in 2018

Hi Assalamualaikum.

This is literally my first post after such a long due. It's 2018 already, hello. so here's a quick glimpse: It's the seventh day of Ramadhan, PKR won the election, Tun Mahathir was elected to be our new prime minister, Anwar Ibrahim was released & been given full pardon, i gained weight & WAS 90kg okay.... (the heaviest me in my entire existence) but lost a few kgs right after (currently 84.3kg) and Faisal finally cut his hair short after 1 year ++ 

There were so many things to blog about but like always, i have no time to sit down & write again. But here i am now

I started doing makeup service last year on May & still loving what i do now, because alhamdulillah everything is just super on point now. My clients are the kindest & i dont really have trouble with any of them. Being a makeup artist is like living the dream that i never thought possible or that it never crossed my mind. My life at the moment, is so on point that i dont have anything to complain; what more could i ask? I have a loving & supportive husband, i lose weight, i love my job & even though we still havent have kids, but i trust in Allah's plan. You usaha, you dapat 💜

Insya Allah, i'll blog some more soon xx