Its just something that i had in mind

Have you ever felt like being intimidated by yourself bcs of your own flaws? I remember when my life was a total wrecked bcs i was considered as overweight. I hate putting on jeans and i don't really like to wear long sleeves. The moment i thought i need to change and transform myself was when our family went to Sabah and i dont even have anything proper to wear. Until today masih regret bcs i dont have any decent pictures in Sabah bcs of how i looked then. I got so insecure and not to mention how often faisal had to listen to me rambling abt my weight, how my arms were flabby and how obvious my double chin was. 

Ever since i first started going to the gym, my parents and faisal have been given me continuous supports. Some of my friends told me that i look different than i was before and what makes me happier, ive been skipping gym for almost 2 weeks plus (but still went for jogs) and my weight hasnt change at all. I trust my journey and i'll work harder to regain back my confidence that was once gone. I'll be a brand new person and hoping the old giggly, fun and at the same time annoying Adawiyah will still remain the same

Two months

I have never accomplished anything (not referring to academic) and often i cepat sangat give up bila i tak dapat fast results. After two months of struggling, sweating and having sore muscles, i gotta say i am proud of myself for losing 8kg and this hasnt stop selagi tak achieve 50kg. 

Awal-awal bulan after i started my mission, ada lah juga patah semangat pastu nangis sebab kawan sendiri dah turun berat from 75kg to 62kg dalam masa yang singkat. Mula-mula break down jugak sebab rasa macam pointless lah benda ni, baru turun 3kg macam tak nampak perubahan langsung. Tapi i managed to get myself back on track since i dapat support from my family, Faisal and friends, I started to take things positively bcs dudeeee, youre halfway there weh and you wanna give up??? 

I just hope things will get even better soon.......

Appreciating You #3

I'm dedicating this post to my dearest boyfriend ever. Thank you sayang for having me in your life, for taking care of me, for treating me nice and for being the guy who supports me all the time; who never fails to make me laugh and smile. I know sometimes i can be a little bit rough on you. I'm sorry if i hurt you, if i fail to understand you and i'm sorry if i'm not good enough. And i am sorry if i go against you by the things you did or said. I'm sorry if i am mean to you. I'm sorry if i am impatience. I'm sorry if i messed up and i'm sorry if i made you cry. 

You're one in a million sayang

I know how hard i am for you to handle. I know its difficult to understand me. Take all the time you need to better understand me because i will never leave. I love you that i cant stay mad at you for long. You know that dont you? tak susah sangat nak pujuk i sebenarnya bcs you know what you know. Dah kawin nanti you can smother me all you want. Thank you for appreciating me, for being faithful and for sacrificing your time and energy just to make me feel happy. Thank you for all the things you gave and thank you for loving me for what i am. 

Nobody has stayed this long. Nobody can truly accepts me; all of the secrets i had and all of the dark sides of me. You accept me, you tahu all of my flaws; but you still choose to stay. I'm grateful and i can never tell how much you mean to me by words. I cant even build a good sentence to express this feeling i'm having inside my heart, i cant describe it beautifully sayang :( 

Come what may, i will always be with you through it all and we will make it til the end.

Happy Men's Day. I love you sayang 

No pain no gain

Hi, well sebenar nya aku rasa curious. Kenapa ada segelintir orang makan jamu makan pil kurus minum air untuk kurus just like that boleh turun berkilo kilo tapi bila aku i have to work really hard pergi gym bermandikan peluh, jogging, cut down my appetite plus portion makanan kurangkan and all eh?

Aku cemburu dengan orang yang senang gila turun berat badan like srsly cemburu.
Before this i've tried loads of things untuk kurus. Aku jogging, skipping, main badminton, buat home workout, zumba, aerobics and all kind of exercises lah senang cerita. Tapi tetap susah nak turun.

This time i have found that determination i've once lost. And this time aku nak work my ass off just to get my old body back! And i aint gonna stop til that scale points at 60 or below

I'll prove something insya Allah. Insya Allah there will be an improvement!

Syukur

Aku pusing belakang jap trying to get a reflect of what i have accomplished for the past few months, aku nampak banyak positif dari negatif. Before this masa aku nak adapt kat tempat kerja baru sumpah banyak gila perkara paling neraka jadi kat aku.

Tapi each and every passing days taught me that jangan surround diri dengan negative thoughts. Always stay positive no matter how many times aku fedup dengan perangai segelintir manusia. Mak pernah kata "jangan bila tak selesa dengan tempat kerja, awak resign, give up. Sama je macam lari dari masalah"

Today i managed to prove to my mom yang aku dah kerja lebih sebulan dekat papparich. One thing abt my workplace is everyday is a learning process plus dekat situ aku ramai kawan so everytime aku rasa semangat sikit pergi kerja sebab nak jumpa kawan kawan aku

Harini dengan semalam aku belajar balik topik consolidation yang susah gila. Tapi harini ntah kenapa ada satu perasaan lega yang teramat dalam hati aku bila aku dapat 100% apa yang lecturer ajar.

Pastu aku macam persoalkan dekat diri sendiri "kenapa aku tak boleh buat dulu. Kenapa aku tak fokus wehhhh. Benda ni tak complicated pun ya Allah" terus aku jadi positif sebab aku rasa memang elok aku fail (walaupun tak dapat grad sama dengan coursemate tapi takpelah takde rezeki) dari situ aku tahu langit tu tinggi ke rendah dan dari situ pemahaman aku dan interest aku untuk belajar lagi melonjak naik.

Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah! Thats all i gotta say.