Nil

"Please don't expect anyone else to always be good, kind & loving. There are times when they will be cold, thoughtless & hard to understand."

A letter to my sayang

Two posts in a day how awesome is that. I taknak randomly membebel on this post but just wanna make this post a memory bila i bukak blog ni some other time i'll be like AWW, DID I POSTED THIS

So here it goes.

                   Hi sayang. I know its been a while since the last time i update pasal you dalam blog ni. I know you dont mind because thats the kind of person you are. Right now youre sleeping and its 3 AM. Just now you mengigau you cakap "lebatnya hujan" tapi sebenarnya tak hujan pun so i tahu you tengah mengigau sebab itu memang habit you tengah malam. Selain typo yang berterusan dan random dancing atas jalan, awak mengigau malam but i can live with that. I have been asking you quite several times "awak betul ke nak kahwin dengan saya ni?" and you will always answer me with a "yes of course" atau "iya, saya memang nak kahwin dengan awak" tapi awak, ada banyak darkside i yang you belum figure out. You belum dapat a full picture of the real me. Empat tahun pun belum cukup untuk buat awak kenal saya, apa lagi faham saya yang memang clearly sangat lah susah untuk faham. Perempuan ni complicated creature tapi most of the time, nak attention je sebenarnya. Even when you bagi i sepenuh perhatian, whatsapp i time tengah kerja atau tengah driving (tolong buang habit tu pls) tapi masih juga tak sama kalau nak bandingkan perhatian you virtually dan bila you ada sebelah i. 

You pernah nampak i marah, i nangis, i give up on life and i merengek. Tapi you belum nampak i membebel sampai nak pecah gegendang telinga, belum nampak how i dressed at home sumpah selekeh gila with my curl hair apa semua, you belum tahu how bad i smell early in the morning before bathing, how bad my breath smells and how my body stinks if i tak mandi malam sebab malas dan you belum nampak how i tidur kaki silang tangan masuk dalam seluar. I dont sleep beautifully, sometimes i bangun tidur muka berminyak and my hair is all frizzy.I am hard to handle and you know it too. Cepat sangat terasa, sangat sensitif and most of all, keras kepala. I selalu gastrik malam-malam, and at times if the pain wont go away i akan menangis. I rasa i tidur berdengkur bila i betul-betul penat and because of my bad gastric, i memang kentut bersepah. There is going to be a lot more bad habits that you'll figure out once we're married and i hope you will accept me truly. I am not telling you this to shame myself or to show you my flaws. But i want you to be prepared because i am far from perfect and how you see me now, isnt what youre going to see in our next life. 

I hope you wont regret your decision because i wont regret mine for choosing you. Theres a reason why you and i, bercinta semula after i broke your heart few years back sampai you merajuk taknak main social network dah. I'm sorry for what i did, i really am

I love you so much Faisal Hadi, always and forever. And i cant wait to marry you! I just wanna be with you through what ever life takes us, i just wanna spend the rest of my life living with you and I want to annoy you everyday, and spoil you even when kita dah tua bangka. I want our kids to be like "babah sayang sangat kat ibu" and i wanna see your eyes and your face sampai bila-bila!

Thank you for accepting me. Thank you for being what you are and thank you for loving me.

A flashback

OH HI, 

I am good at neglecting my blog now. But there's no place else yang lagi best to share all of my thoughts! Nak rant about everything pun people dont bother opening my blog so i am free of  any judgment here lol. There's like a lot of things happening in my life at this moment. I just graduated my diploma last month on November. I ended my seventh semester (dragged because i have to sit for one paper, yes i know right. PAINFUL) alhamdulillah after 3 years. So someone commented pasal i lambat habis diploma, i didnt take it too personal but still was a bit disappointed at first to see such comment. But then i started to get over it sebab he's an asshole so yeah. CHILL LA DUDE...... cepat cepat kau nak pergi mana??????

I punya plan pun nak kahwin after diploma (WHICH IS NOW OMGGGG) and later dah settle hal kahwin apa semua i nak further my degree. Faisal pun masih 50-50 nak sambung degree ke tidak. Hes working with his dad for the time being, i rasa probably hes going to take over his dad punya business if his dad nak retire (maybe insya Allah) His current job sangat banyak leisure time but when hes busy, hes REALLY busy

I honestly wanted to further my studies but not in accounting la i'd be crazy. Accounting dgn i tak ada chemistry. PERIOD. Most probably i sambung degree after i got married to faisal (WEY I JUST SAID THAT MALAS NAK PADAM OK) and was thinking of taking International Business because currently i tengah run a small business on Instagram. Lepastu, i rasa i lagi interested and has more passion kot if i further course tu..........

 I just hope our plans and everything goes out smoooooooooooooth and easy! Nak kahwin la, dah hampir empat tahun bercinta as boyfriend-girlfriend, penat tau faisal nak travel to melaka from shah alam, dengan tol rate makin naik, tuang minyak lagi apa semua. ITS COSTLY TAU (tapi ada bini pun kena keluar duit jugak but thank god i bukan kaki kikis harta suami) So yeah, I nak settle down and just have my own family dengan faisal next year. If it becomes a reality, i senyum sampai syurga hari hari tau!

 (NAMPAK TAK I BORAK RANDOM GILA)

 Its just sad that, I DONT HAVE PROPER PICTURES OF ME ON MY GRADUATION DAY BECAUSE IT RAINED #sadlife :')

but heres a decent picture of me during my pre photoshoot!