Monday, January 24

Kematian yang menghidupkan





Mak insan terpilih. Sepanjang hayat dia, banyak sangat ujian yang dia lalui — that i know of growing up but lets just keep those things private. 


Allah sangat sayangkan mak. 


After her last chemo, we thought that her suffering would finally come to an end. I still remember that day, after her appointment, she video called us and told us the news. That she might have two more years to live. Her tears went down rolling but the way she said it, mak nampak redha but deep down God knows how she felt. After she broke the news, my sisters and i rushed ourselves to go back to Melaka. I remember her face, she just stopped smiling. Buat lawak pun she couldnt laugh. Sepanjang hayat, mak orang yang paling banyak senyum & ketawa. She's a very cheerful person, suka buat kelakar & she also suka randomly bertegur sapa dengan orang yang dia tak kenal. 


Since that day, her family and friends tak pernah berhenti datang melawat dia. Dari Melaka ke Muar, ke Johor Bahru, seterusnya ke IKN Putrajaya tak berhenti orang datang melawat sampaikan security pun ada yang kata "ramai betul waris norhapizah yang datang nak jumpa".


One of her last wishes was to go 'home' and be burried near her parents grave. 


Bila mak discharged from IKN she stayed at my sister's house in Muar. We all did — we stayed by her side, we took care of her until her last breath, we were all there with her, whispering shahada & telling her that "kita semua redha". I witnessed so many miracles and how rezeki & pertolongan Allah datang dalam pelbagai bentuk untuk memudahkan mak & meringankan sakit dia. Ada orang wakafkan katil hospital, tank oxygen, ada yang hadiahkan sofa bed, kerusi roda size besar khas untuk mak (she had lymphedema) semua benda ni  bagi mak kesenangan & keselesaan. Allah betul betul sayangkan mak & moga Allah balas kebaikan pada yang memberi.


There were moments when mak said words like "transit" "flight" "passport" when she was on morphine as if she's about to travel somewhere beautiful because that's what she used to like. Travelling. 


And as i were told, dying of cancer makes you a martyr. A syahid. My mum is a fighter, she didnt lose the battle, she fought like a champion and she's now in a better, beautiful and serene place where there is no more pain nor suffering. I miss her terribly. Not a day goes by that i dont miss her or think of her. 


Losing her taught me so much about kindness. About humility and how life in this dunya is so temporary. And that a good life after death, our akhira should be our utmost goal, chasing dunya can be tiresome dont you think? Because thats what dunya is, persinggahan sementara bukan kekal abadi. And life here will always be challenges, tears and suffering. Kalau kita redha, Allah angkat darjat kita. Semoga mak senang & bahagia di alam sana.